Promise Breaker/Covenant Breaker

Sometimes I think about my sins…and the worlds sins…and all they could possibly entail.  And then, for some reason, I can’t help but imagine God being like US…and acting like US…and I start to wonder…what if today is the day that God changes His mind? What if today God decided not to forgive us of our sins anymore?

Those are some crazy thoughts aren’t they?

“Outrageous!” some would scream.  “Unthinkable!”

And the souls behind the screams would be right.  There is no doubt about it…God is not like us.  He is Holy…Pure…Powerful…Untainted…True…Honest…Perfect.  He is Almighty…Alpha and Omega…Beginning and End.

He is known as Salvation…Promise Keeper…Faithful Father…Redeemer.

Yes, it would be an impossibility for God to turn back on His Word…His Promise…His Covenant.  God would not go back and remove the nails from Jesus hands…He would not take His Son off the cross and clean the spilled blood from His body in the act of taking away the Salvation of the world in which He died for.

He would not break His promise…His covenant…His Salvation…even though I’m sure we all could agree that He would have every right to do so.

While God is forever faithful we the people of the world find ourselves at most, forever inconsistent.  I look at myself and know that I have and still do turn my back on God at times.

I am a promise breaker…I am a covenant breaker…and all around me I see a world that does the same thing.  Sometimes we live as though God never existed…we live as though He never died for our sins so that we may someday experience Heaven.

We turn our backs on the One who will never turn His back on us.

We serve a God that never lies…never cheats…never goes back on His Word….and He loves us more than we can possibly imagine.  And this is amazing news brothers and sisters!  Because I tell you that even in our darkest moments God is reaching for us…He is pursuing us.

We may have broken promises…covenants with God in the past or even right now…but that doesn’t mean we can’t come back from it…that doesn’t mean we have to stay forever defined by our failures and defiance’s against God.  No, we have a choice in the matter…we can choose to stay faithful…we can choose to follow God with all our hearts…it’s not impossible to do that.

Perhaps today we should take some time to recommit and reconcile with God…never forget that we can NEVER run so far away from God that He won’t take us back…He always will with open arms.  Also today, lets pray that we properly reevaluate what it means to make a promise or covenant with God and others.  There is honor in keeping our word, and somehow that has lost value in our world.

Let’s strive for more brothers and sisters, let’s be known as Promise Keepers….let’s be known as Covenant Keepers.

First Meeting….

She was nervous…I could tell that for certain.

She was very quiet and not near as chatty…and there were times when I looked into her eyes I could see the depth of thought she was in.  Sure we had faced challenges in our relationship before…the hour and a half distance between her home and mine…the ache in our hearts from not being able to see each other every day and the pain we felt when after a short weekend visit having to say goodbye again.  Just these things alone required us to be passionate and fight boldly for our relationship…yes, we had experienced a lot in our young relationship…but this was different.

Up until this point her only exposure to my two daughters was through pictures on Facebook and if she just so happened to hear their tiny voices during one of our phone conversations.  But the time had come for Saige to meet my two God-given beauties and I can’t deny I was probably just as nervous as she was.

We had both decided in the beginning of our relationship to save this meeting until we both felt it was the right time…no matter how long it took that assuring feeling too came to both of us.

I was very protective of the girls.  Having gone through a divorce (because no matter what a person might think, the kids go through the divorce with you on some level) and experienced the pain of separation and confusion that goes with that scenario…I prayed they had adjusted well, but I could never be 100% sure I was doing what I needed to do as a dad to protect their hearts…I only knew what I could do…and that included not introducing this amazing woman I had fallen in love with (as daddy’s girlfriend) to them until Saige and I both knew we were in this together forever.

And then there was, Saige.  I often wondered about all the things she thought about when she wasn’t with me concerning my kiddos.  I had no doubt there was nervousness mixed with fear in her heart about meeting them, but I also thought about other practical things.  Was she prepared to someday become a mother figure to these girls?  Having no kids of her own and never being married I prayed God would prepare her but also give her clarity and the boldness to tell me if this was all too much for her.  I even asked her on more than one occasion if she was sure our relationship was what she wanted…especially considering that I was in fact a “package” deal.

Not one time did or has Saige hesitated or left me with doubts or insecurities about what was going on in her heart concerning the girls.  She was nervous, yes…a little fearful, yes…but she also was excited and committed.  At one point she told me that she prayed for Hannah and Maggie every day and even having not met them yet, was starting to develop love for them.  My heart was extremely blessed with these words and it wasn’t long before we both knew the time was right for them to meet.

Upon their first meeting it took about ten minutes before Hannah and Maggie had Saige in the living room floor of my apartment, performing all the latest hair styles on Saige that two little girls could think up.  I watched with a heart filled with joy as Saige and my daughters began to connect…as their little hands and fingers twisted and pulled at Saige’s hair…as laughter filled the room and conversations developed… a bond began to form.  And in those moments and throughout that first day I fell in love a little more with these three ladies that have become the great joys of my life.

I look back on that day now and I can’t help but smile and feel amazed and blessed at the blessings God has given me.

Last week Hannah and I were able to visit Saige and her parents while they were having a garage sale fundraiser for Saige’s world race.  It was Sunday afternoon when I told Hannah that we needed to think about heading back home and the sting of tears began to well up in her eyes.  She looked at me with a shaky lip and told me she didn’t want to go, not yet.  It was only moments before her few tears became a streaming flood.  She came to me and I wrapped her up in my arms as she continued to tell me that she wasn’t ready to go…she wasn’t ready to leave Saige yet.

I felt a lump begin to form in my throat as I once again bore witness to the connection between Saige and my little girls.  A few seconds later Saige was next to me…and without hesitation she scooped Hannah up and rocked her back and forth in her arms.  She kissed Hannah’s forehead and told her everything would be alright, “we’ll be together again very soon, Hannah.   I love you.”

I small blissful shudder escaped my chest as I heard Hannah between light sobs and tears say, “I love you too.”

I watched in awed fascination at God’s masterpiece….His perfect plan.  Because that’s what that moment was brothers and sisters…perfection.

We live so much of our lives in fear and worry about what might happen tomorrow.  Like me, aren’t you tired of that weight?

It’s these little moments that I think help remind us that God is more than what the world makes Him out to be.  He’s not a figment of our imagination or some “hands off” observer that doesn’t care about us.  He’s the creator of miracles and the purpose of our lives.

God’s not absent in our lives brothers and sisters…He’s at constant participation, and He is here to make our lives whole and purposeful.  Could there be anything better than that?

Things I’m Good At…

I’m moving on to the second entry presented in my “Blog Challenge” and today I’m directed to educate my readers about some things I know a lot about or some things I’m  good at.

I’ve been struggling to write this entry because the last thing I want is to appear pompous in any way.  So finally I decided to ask some of my friends and family what they thought, in an attempt to avoid any appearance of self-righteousness.  So here we go!

“You’re good at nutrition, exercise, and with electronics.”

Haha, and I wish I was a lot better at these things! Like any other person I’ve had my ups and downs with eating right and exercising.  I’m proud to say I’ve completed the P90X program after many years of trying, and I’ve always found interest in what healthy foods are out there.  Praise God for Turkey and all the ways it can be cooked! As far as electronics I’m most likely qualified as an advanced techy but nowhere near an expert.

“You’re good at making people feel good about themselves…you’re good at being a good friend.”

This means a lot to me!  I don’t share this a lot but I’ve always struggled with a lot of insecurities regarding these two things mentioned in point number two.  Satan has worked overtime on me over the years to convince me I’m not the friend I need to be and that I’m incapable of giving proper encouragement and support to the people I care about. But thankfully God has brought me through all this and Satan’s indictments have had no ill effects on me…in fact it challenges  and motivates me even more to try and excel in these areas.  For me it’s not about being the guy that everyone likes and is considered the best friend ever…instead I challenge myself to be a good friend and encourager because that’s the kind of man I want to be.

“You’re good at writing and know a crap ton about movies and music.”

For as long as I can remember writing has been a constant in my life.  Whether I need to get something off my chest or I want to transport myself to a fictional world, I write because it’s an awesome vehicle for expressing the words and stories I for some reason (in the moment) can’t verbally say. Once the words are out of my system and onto paper I find myself more free to talk with others about the things that normally keep me silent…its’ a very freeing process for me. I enjoy all forms of writing and the way(s) it’s expressed. This is why I’m naturally drawn to movies and music. A good story or song is truly a balm for our hearts, and that’s why I love them so much! Writing truly can connect us all in some form or fashion in amazingly beautiful ways.

“You’re good at being a dad.”

Of everything this is the one point I love the most…the one I care about more than anything.  Being a dad to my girls is something I’m honored to be able to do.  God has given me the amazing responsibility to help in the raising of my children and I pray every day I don’t let Him or my girls down. And I also pray that I bust my butt to always be the positive example of what a Godly man should look like in their little eyes right now and as they grow into young women.  That way when it comes time for some young man to be knocking on the door of their hearts they can easily identify who God’s best for them.

Ok, well that’s all I have for you today…thank you for checking out my blog!

Prepared….

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” –1 Peter 3:15

Am I prepared?

God’s Word says I should be…it says I should be prepared to give an answer to EVERYONE who asks me about the hope I have.

It should be easy, right?

It should roll off my tongue like sweet honey…the hope that saturates my life…our lives…in deep shades of red that enhance, preserve, and restore the canvases that we are. Canvases that God uses to tell a story…His story…in His own beautiful and articulate way.

So it should be easy, right?

Then why is it when we sit still and think about sharing the hope of Christ with others our chests quickly become heavy?  The room we’re in gets a little darker…a melodic piano tune surges through the voids in our heads; the lowly deep tones of the notes seem to make our heart shudder under the weight of revealing hope to the world.

Somewhere along the way we’ve forgotten the joy of sharing hope.

Somewhere in the midst of paying the bills and watching the chaos of the world unfold on our televisions we’ve bought into the lie that any little bit of hope there may be in the world is not meant for us to share, because we’re far from feeling it ourselves.

So we hide away, simply because if no one sees the hope within us…then they won’t have any reason to ask about it.

This brothers and sisters…is called “existing”.

And it’s a lifestyle that has become easy for us as Christians to perfect.

We complicate…we frustrate…we get lost in the details.

“What do I believe?” “Should I believe this?” “How can I talk about hope when I feel so lost?” “Life seems so much harder since I became a Christian, how do I express the hope I have in Jesus when all I want to do is scream?”

We complicate…we frustrate…we get lost in the details.

Let me ask you something that I have asked myself…why do you love your kids? Why do you love your spouse? Why do you love your parents?  Why do you love your family and friends?  What is it about them that makes you feel joy and hopeful in life?

Can you give me an answer free of political beliefs, doctrinal preferences, sexuality, or how hard your life is right now?  OF COURSE YOU CAN!

These people have had important roles in our life and your relationships with them are much deeper than any “surface” controversy could reflect.  I’m positive you could give proper testimony to the value these awesome people have brought to your life, and that value has far endured the difficult days you’ve lived through and the heavy weight on your chest that you experience sometimes.

So that begs the question… what reason do you have for having hope?

As Christians when we hear this question we know the source for our hope is Christ…so are we prepared to give our reason?

If we could come up with many reasons why we love our friends and family, should it not be that much easier to explain what the Savior of our soul’s means to us?

“It can’t be that easy,” you may be thinking.  “I mean, there’s so much to consider in my approach to giving my reason…I don’t want them to be confused…I just want to be real.”

The lets be real brothers and sisters.  Let’s not complicate…let’s not frustrate…let’s not get lost in the details.  God’s not telling us in 1 Peter to convert someone or explain to them why we believe the doctrine of “tongues” still exist today or why you don’t agree with the homosexual lifestyle, or even why life is just so dang hard no matter if you’re a Christian or not.

Why Jesus gives you hope is rooted in what He’s already done for you and what He will continue to do moving forward.  This has nothing to do with the “issues” that can ultimately hold us back from sharing Christ with others.  Do you really think that’s what a person presenting the question of the existent hope in your life really wants to hear anyway?

No, whether they know it or not, their searching for a Savior just like you and I were.

We need to speak plainly from our hearts and then allow God to do the work of transformation.

Am I prepared?

Are you prepared?

…the story of my life…

So I guess I should start out by saying I found this site that had a list of challenges for bloggers to try in an effort to get them blogging again or at least more consistently…so here’s my shot at it, and today’s challenge is:

in 250 words or less, haha…yeah, I’m so not gonna be able to follow that little stipulation!

So how to start…hmmm…ok…how about this…as a kid I was your normal type youngster that had a healthy obsession with Superman that’s never really gone away.  As you can tell from the pictures below I was a healthy kid whose parent’s made sure I got my Corn flakes in the morning (with plenty of sugar to pour on top of it) and Rice-A-Roni at night…I don’t mean that in a sarcastic or comedic way…I’m just stating what was pretty popular in food items back then…I’m a little weird like that.  But back on point, I was like any other kid really and had and still have an awesome family with lots of love!  Another thing I should mention is that we played a ton of baseball and softball in our home growing up…I don’t have any pictures at the moment, but we loved our ball!

These are my parents…they are and will forever be the best ever!  Growing up they always took care of my sister and I…we never lacked for anything…we have felt love and pride from dad and mom our whole lives.  They’ve taught me so much about how to be an awesome parent to my girls…they inspire me more than they know.  I wish I had some older pictures of them…like when my dad had long hair that he could wrap in a pony tail if he wanted and when my mom “poofed” her hair with the best of them! I’m not sure there are many of those pics laying around anymore…they’ve been strategically hidden from my eyes I’m sure.  But that’s okay…for now you can enjoy my mom’s short beautiful hair and my dad’s cowboy hat studness!  I’ve always thought it really cool to see pictures of parents and their kids…it gives one the opportunity to see how God blends the lives and blood of two people into one living, breathing soul.

This is my little sister!  Sissy!  Boy did I give her hell growing up.  But unfortunately for me she could dish back the pain just as much as I could!  We love to tell the story of one summer when we were kids and I was picking on her and she started running after me through the house with a hair brush. At one point I took a diving leap onto mom and dads bed as I heard the sharp whistle of a hard bristled hair brush being thrown at me.  The next few seconds could only be described as “Matrixy” as my body seemed to move in slow motion and the brush wizzed past my head by mere inches.  The brush then hit the head board of the bed perfectly…bristle first…and left the most awesome impression of a hundred little bristles in the wood!  Yep, we were soon to face the wrath of our parents, lol.

Of course as what tends to happen in life, siblings change and grow in love.  As kids Lyndi and I wouldn’t be caught dead hugging each other (unless a picture required it) or telling each other, “Love you, sis…love you, bub”.  But times change and thankfully so do people and family.  I love my little sister to death and I’m proud of the young woman she’s become.  She’s always been there for me and shes’ always inspired my faith in God! We joke all the time about the good looking pair of siblings we are…but we’re really not that vain…at least we’re mostly not that vain :o)

pssssst….I’m sure it’s unintentional but there’s a billboard around town with a girl holding a cup of soup that looks pretty much like my sister did when she was younger…I’m just saying…she’s kinda famous you know.

These two little beauties are Hannah and Maggie, and they are the greatest, sweetest, most precious, awesome gifts I’ve ever been given.  I remember a lot about my life, but none of my memories are as clear as the ones I’ve made with my daughters.  They are my heartbeat and I love them more than words could ever describe.  Being their dad is my great honor, and every time I look in their beautiful faces I know God is truly real.

We’re a funny little family that loves to have fun!  Part of this fun may or may not include mustaches! :o)

Hannah doesn’t mind the occasional yoga pose….while Maggie gets ticked in the face of yoga!

My girls are not perfect, but their as close as two people could be in my eyes.  They will always be my babies!

This is the girl of my dreams…and her name is Saige Campbell.

Saige and I met through the awesome world of Twitter, but I never could have known at that time what God’s plans were for the two of us.  You see, I made this deal or maybe even an arrangement with God that I was going to wait on His timing, and I prayed that when He thought it best, that He bring someone into my path to spend my life with.  I made this commitment to God and pressed deeply into Him…changing my focus and passions towards Him specifically.  It was only two weeks later that Saige and I said our first worlds to each other on Twitter.  And now over a year later we’re engaged and planning a life together.  Now I’m not saying that’s how life always works out…I’m just sharing how its worked out for me…it really is best to live for the Lord, and let Him bless our lives.

Saige is my best friend and the one I share absolutely everything with.  There are parts of my heart that only she knows and I’m honored to be her future husband.  Saige loves with her whole heart…not just towards me, but anyone that comes across her path.  I’ve watched in awed silence as she interacts with her closest friends, family, and even strangers and am amazed at how quickly she puts people at ease and in comfort.  She laughs with them…cries with them…and shares her heart like no one else I’ve ever seen. She’s passionate and lives life with a fierce confidence that inspires me more everyday. Come September, she’ll begin an 11 month journey to 11 countries to minister and help those that need Christ.  I’m so proud of her.  Words can not express the excitement I feel in my heart for her and this opportunity, and I pray everyday she hears me and feels my constant affirmation.  I look forward to a life together with Saige…a life lived and loved through our family and a life served only for Jesus Christ.

So I’m over a thousand words into this entry and I hear some of you saying, “You’ve said a lot about your family, but not much about yourself.”  But I think the reality for me is that if you truly want to know and understand me…you have to look at the company I keep.  My family  and friends mean the world to me and they each make me a better man.  They also understand that my life is a life totally defined by God.  I am a father, son, brother, fiancee, and friend…but none of these things define me.  I am defined by Christ and I am His.

My life has been beautiful and broken at times…but as some would say, there is beauty in the broken.  But now I find myself more happy then I’ve ever been…much more than I feel I deserve.  I am truly blessed and I thank God everyday for that!

**Just in case anyone was curious…I do have some serious cannon ball skills**