Treat Her As You Should…


In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” — 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)


It’s sad to admit this…but we husbands can brush this verse off A LOT…a whole heck of a lot more than we should.  In a world that tries desperately to grab our attention through social media,  politics, gossip, economics, sports, religion, music, whatever…husbands can find themselves in a place where honoring their wives is at the back burner of priorities in their life.

This is wrong…this is weak…this is damaging…and men, we are openly defying God’s responsibility for us as husbands and partners in marriage when we place everything else ahead of our bride.  The first command Peter gives in this verse is an awesome one; because not only does it tell us to honor our wives, but it also offers a way in which to do that very thing!  When Peter says to, “treat your wife with understanding,” he’s saying that we need to get to know her…and the honor of getting to know our wives is something we should never take for granted.

So how do we do this?

I think we can do this two ways…COMMUNICATION and OBSERVATION.

What does your wife like and dislike?
What are her strengths and weaknesses?
What makes her happy?
What gets her frustrated?
What are her dreams and desires?

These questions and so many more can be answered by first simply asking them to our wives and then listening to her…this is the essence of communication and I promise men…it’s not as difficult a process as the world would have us believe it us.

But what if it gets intense or emotional?  I’m not comfortable with that kind of thing…couldn’t I just read a book on how to understand a woman better?

Let me say this first to all of us husbands…we need to suck it up, be men, and get to knowing our wives better no matter what the process takes us through!  Could it get intense?  Yes.  Could it get emotional? Absolutely.  But getting to know our wives mean’s proving that we’re more than just a mere financial provider in our marriage…we’re a partner…and we’re invested in our wives and in our marriage.  Sure, you could find a book on how to understand women better, but you can’t forget the reality that your wife is not like every other woman in the world.  She is unique, special, and fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).  It is and should be our desire to know our bride in all the beautiful ways God made her.

The second way we can get to know our wives is by observing them.  I think in today’s world observation can get a bad rap because people find it creepy or lazy for some reason.  Truly though, we men should all take the time to observe our wives being wives and even mothers.  Through this process we can see how our bride loves and serves the people around her and us as their husbands.  We can clearly see what motivates and makes our wives thrive through the process of observation.  We can also see what doesn’t help them.  It’s not needless staring…it’s studying and taking visual note of what we as husbands can do to honor and praise our wives.

Guys, when we honor our wives, we treasure her.  We place great value in her and think of her often…we make sure she is protected and loved.  Peter is saying in the verse above that we should elevate our wife to a place of great honor…they should be one of our greatest treasures in this life.  How do you speak to your wife and how do you speak of your wife to the world?  Is it honoring?  Respectful? Loving? Adoring?  Our wives will never take the place of God, but we are commanded to love and praise her…to lift her up…through word and action…she is worth this and as husbands we should want to do this for her.

There are no excuses and God won’t accept any.

In fact, Peter gives a clear warning to husbands who don’t honor and praise their wives by saying, “Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”

Husband…are your prayers being hindered?
If you’re being honest, does your prayer life suck badly?

Could this be the reason why?

I’m calling all husbands to do some reflection and see where their hearts are towards their bride.  This blog post is not about judgments or guilt trips…it’s about men being honest and standing up for our wives the way we should.

It’s time…


4 thoughts on “Treat Her As You Should…

  1. Jeremy,

    I don’t know if you remember me. I haven’t been especially active on WordPress in quite a while, but we commented back and forth a few times on each other’s posts. I happened to get on and check out your blog today, and I’m glad I did. I often find myself thinking about this very subject; what it means to honor and lead a wife. I’m getting married in October, so it’s especially applicable for me.

    While I don’t know the step for step journey you’ve been on in the last few years, I somehow feel certain that God has brought you many miles forward from where you were. I know that He has certainly done that for me. I remember so many nights, praying, asking God to bring not just a girl, but the right girl. I was clinging to Philippians 4:11, …I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances. I finally reached that point. I was finally content with what I had, and intent on trusting God’s plan, rather than focusing on my desires. Then I met her. She’s not what I asked God for, she’s better. Way better. I’m humbled every single day when I think about the amazing blessing that God gave me when He brought her into my life.

    I’m sorry this comment was practically blog post length. I just kept sharing what was on my heart and it turned into a short story. Lol Congratulations to you and your beautiful new wife! I wish you both a lifetime of happiness together!


    • Hey Rob,
      I absolutely remember you, and it’s so great to hear what God has been doing in your life. Congratulations on finding your girl and the covenant with God you will share together come October!
      “While I don’t know the step for step journey you’ve been on in the last few years, I somehow feel certain that God has brought you many miles forward from where you were.” Wow, you couldn’t have expressed this any better or more accurately. I have definitely been on a journey with God, which has been both amazing and hard; which I think we all can relate too. My greatest blessing and gift though was finding my wife, Courtney…yes, we were 1,000 miles apart from each other (me in Texas and her in Kentucky) but we both knew God had something special for us and our future together, so we pursued each other and never looked back. God has truly been so awesome in my life, and I want nothing more than to honor Him and His love, then by honoring my wife, His beautiful creation.
      It was so good to hear from you, and I wish nothing but blessing and happiness for you and your future marriage!

  2. You bless my heart so much! Thank you for, not only being a man who practices all of the above, but also for sharing your gift with others in a way that teaches of God’s goodness and His necessary presence in our lives. So thankful for your beautiful words and lives I know they bless!

    • Thank you, sweetheart! This means so much to me, as I strive to be the man and husband that honors and loves you more than anyone else has before…you deserve that, Courtney. I love you endlessly!

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